Chuck Norris wears a beard because he is jealous of Bruce Cambell's chin.
Bruce Campbell once knocked Superman out with his chin. The resulting explosion has become known as the Big Bang.
Contrary to popular belief, an eclipse occurs when Bruce stares down the sun. Worried for its life, the sun hides behind the moon.
When a tree falls in the woods does it make a noise? Yes. Screams of terror because it was cut down by Bruce's chainsaw.
When the Chuck Norris goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Bruce Campbell.
Tom Cruise fears Bruce Campbell. Tom Cruise asked Chuck Norris to beat up Bruce Campbell. Chuck Norris beat up Tom Cruise instead, and begged Bruce Campbell for forgiveness for speaking to Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise wears a Chuck Norris T-shirt
Chuck Norris wears a Bruce Campbell T-shirt
Bruce Campbell wears no T-shirts. He wears a man's shirt.
You know, collared, button-down and splattered with blood
Bruce Campbell's d.ick is so big it has its own d.ick. Bruce Campbell's d.ick's d.ick is bigger than Chuck Norris' d.ick
Sharks can't swim backwards, however, they teach themselves very quickly how to when they run into Bruce when he's scuba diving.
Behind every successful man is a woman and behind her is Bruce Campbell.
Bruce Cambell's chin is the only thing on Earth that's harder than diamonds.
Jesus has a bumper sticker on his car that says: What would Bruce do?
When Moses saw the burning bush, it was actually Bruce Campbell cooking the last dinosaur.
Bruce Campbell summoned the evil dead because he ran out of dinosaurs.
Bruce Campbell once let Chuck Norris roundhouse kick him in the chin. Chuck Norris shattered every bone in his body. The chin was unharmed.
Chuck Norris can kill you quickly, but Bruce Campbell can talk you into doing it yourself.
If Bruce Campbell is outside without sunblock for too long, the sun gets Bruce-burned.
There are no such things as dead bodies. There are only zombies who are too afraid of Bruce Campbell to get up.
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